Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Grief

I ran into the room half expecting that it wasn’t true.  The room was exactly as I had left it an hour or so earlier.  Brian was resting peacefully on the bed.  I had known for three years this day would come.  It was inevitable.   I ran up to him and put my hand on his arm.   I let out a low, muffled cry.   His arm felt like a stone on a cold winters’ night.  I felt my body shudder.  I remember being amazed that life could depart so quickly.     I couldn’t move.  I stood staring at him. It felt as if the life had gone out of both of us in that room.  I don’t know how long I stood there motionless.   I fell to my knees.  I heard this horrible loud sound.  It sounded like a wailing from some primitive creature in pain.  I looked around the room.  I was alone.  It was coming from me!   Life had returned to me with explosive force.     I wailed rocking back and forth on my knees.  
Q:  Have you experienced grief , over an event in your life, that literally knocks you to the ground?  For me these events tend to surface around the holidays.  How about you?  I find that acknowledging these feelings helps me move past them. What works for you?

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