Wednesday, February 1, 2012

IIlegitimate Unhappiness?

I just feel plain sad these days.  Oh there have been a lot of serious changes in my life.  I know that a lot of the sadness is just the process of grieving over my losses.  That seems to me to be a legitimate type of unhappiness.

But this cloud of sadness has been spreading and morphing into self pity and general unhappiness with my life.  I think of it as an emotional temper tantrum.   I started to get angry about everything and at everyone. I ended up in a very dark place. I’ve done this before, of course, but I’m tired of it.

Have you ever noticed that most unhappiness stems from wishing things were other than they are?  We wish a spouse, partner, child, parent, employer, co-worker, job, house or bank account was something other than what it is. We almost can’t help ourselves when it comes to material things because we are constantly bombarded with advertisements and messages that we need more, bigger and better material things.  I think that attitude has spilled over into our relationships, employment and other aspects of our lives.   In my opinion wishing things were other than what they are is an illegitimate form of unhappiness.

So I stopped wishing and complaining. I reminded myself that it is good to accept things and people as they are.   Oh that doesn’t mean I don’t want some changes to happen in the future.  It is a totally present state of mind.  I accept everything as it is and I do it gladly. This includes me and where I am in my life.

Funny thing - positive changes happen when I gladly accept things as they are.  For starters, I get along better with the people in my life and I am much happier.  Imagine that!

Q:  Have you experienced an "emotional temper tantrum"?  How do you resolve it?