An Attitude of Gratitude

We hear so much about how this current, young generation has such an attitude of entitlement. I don’t know if that is true or not but it started me thinking about the attitudes of previous generations.  I’m probably too close to the situation to comment on the attitudes of the baby boom generation as I am one of them.  However, 

I can comment on what I have observed about my parents and grandparents who lived through the Great Depression.   Part of the legacy of that era is fear and anxiety but there is also a legacy of gratitude.  

They were and are grateful for all that they do have even if by our standards it is not much.   But it is more than that.  Their attitude reflects the knowledge that all that they have is not just a result of their own efforts.  They recognize that other people have contributed to their success such as parents, friends, spouses, co-workers and many more.   Most of them believe God has been at work in their lives providing for them. They understand they could not have all they have or achieved all they have achieved without the support and help of others.

When you are grateful I think you are humble and you are compassionate towards those who don’t have as much.  Just as we recognize all of our success is not a result of just our own efforts we recognize that others failure is not a result of just their own shortcomings.    Other forces are at work in our lives. That generation seems to be more interested in helping and not so much in blaming and shaming.   We can learn so much from them.

Let’s live with an attitude of gratitude! 

The Olympics - a different lesson?

Do you like to watch the Olympics?   I do!  I love watching the events but I don’t typically watch interviews of the athletes.  I just happened to catch an interview of one of the members of the U.S. Women’s bobsled team.   

I am concerned that we overemphasize individualism.    When individualism dominates it impedes our ability or desire to form or be part of “communities”.  These competing interests become out of balance.  Individualism run amuck can create an unhealthy self-love and turn our competitors into enemies.

This athlete said it better than I could. She prefers being a member of the bobsled team to being a solo track star.   As a solo track star the focus is all on you and you can become very narcissistic.  When you are a member of a team it is about the team and how you can contribute to make a better team. You are a part of something greater than yourself.

TV characters as friends?!! Really?

The other night I had some plans with friends to go out for a glass of wine and maybe a light dinner.  For whatever reason I was searching for a way out.  I found myself thinking instead about spending the evening sitting on the couch watching my favorite TV characters.  I’m not sure why but meeting up with my flesh and blood friends seemed like a lot of work, effort and energy that I didn’t have or want to expend.  I went to visit my friends of course.  I had a wonderful time and as we spent time together I felt our “connection” grow and deepen.

Media and especially the proliferation of interesting TV series on cable networks have made TV watching so much more interesting and fun.  But are we confusing entertainment with “engagement”?  . It is so easy to interact with our TV or media friends. They are predictable and comforting in their predictability. We can turn them on and off when we want to.  But they don’t “engage” us. They don’t challenge us, comfort us, disappoint us, argue with or care about us. 

Let’s be careful that we do not use our TV friends or media entertainment to avoid or hide from the experiences, joys and challenges of flesh and blood relationships?  Flesh and blood relationships make us feel vulnerable and can be messy and difficult but the rewards are amazing as I was reminded one night last week.

Love thyself? Narcissism?

What does “self-love” mean to you?

It recently came up again but I have heard the term “self –love” discussed by many psychologists for many years.  I have always had a vague notion about the concept but what really is self-love?  I do know it is considered to be an important concept for personal growth but I don't have a real handle as to what it really means or how to find it and use it in my life.

I have always been wary of the term because in the world in which I was raised it was equated or confused with being conceited or selfish.   It was not a concept we were raised to value or look for. Attitudes have changed but I see that perhaps some parents have gone a bit overboard in counteracting the messages of our upbringing.  In seeking to raise children to value themselves I hope we have not created young adults that confuse self love with narcissism.  Narcissism to me is caring only about yourself and having no concern for others except for how what they do affects you.  Narcissists lack empathy. 

So I have decided to begin a quest to define self-love, find it or the lack of it in my own life and decide if I really should develop more of it to help me live my life to the fullest.   I hope you will join me.