Connected??

Do you feel "connected" to your family, friends, community?

Do We Say What We Think?

Are we women still afraid to say what we think or is that just my generation?   Maybe this is  one reason we are struggling with unhappiness?  What do you think?

Unhappiness even depression

Is there a root cause for depression or unhappiness for middle aged women and everyone else?  If not a cause something that can ease the pain?  I suggest something - "connecting".

This post is about “MIDDLE AGED WOMEN” but please don’t stop reading.

“Middle aged women” (as a demographic) generate reactions that run the gamut of human expression.  Just look at the twitter posts when you conduct a search of the terms “middle aged women”.  The comments made are funny, mean-spirited, loving, irritated, frustrated and more.   The news regarding this group is even more alarming that the low esteem in which they appear to be held by some of the public. 

There are many alarming upward trends among middle aged women including:

                                    Prescription drug addiction

                                    Prescription drug overdose

                                    Suicides

                                    Depression

                                    Eating disorders

Some experts have even described the huge increase of middle aged women suffering from some of these problems as an epidemic.

Why should those of us who are not a middle aged woman even care?   After all it is not happening to us. I would suggest it is happening to you because these women are our mothers, grandmothers, mentors, aunts, wives, sisters and more. 

I would like to know what you think this is all about.  I will be sharing some of my insights, thoughts and experiences in the coming weeks. Please join me and share your thoughts and insights in hopes we can protect the middle aged women in our own lives.

Are you struggling with regrets, disappointment and outright unhappiness? Are you searching for a way to live a richer, happier and more meaningful life?  Follow the author on her journey and you will learn from her experiences, mistakes, despair and triumphs. In the process you can find a path to what you seek.

My book has been published.  Here is the link to Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/What-Taken-Roads-Traveled-ebook/dp/B00A3EOH0C/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1352836531&sr=1-1&keywords=What+If+I+had+Taken+the+Roads+Not+Traveled

Here is the summary:

Upon the demise of her recent marriage, she can no longer ignore the inner voice that chastises her for the many mistakes she has made that have brought her to this unhappy place.  She is shadowed by a cloud of dissatisfaction, disappointment and outright unhappiness. She has missed opportunities. She has made bad choices and decisions.  She feels like a failure.  As she looks around everyone seems to be happier and/or more successful than she is.  She is haunted by the “What ifs” of her life and the nagging feeling that she would be happier, more successful, more satisfied if she had only taken a different path somewhere along the way.  She desperately wants to enjoy where she is in her life at this moment.  So she begins a painful journey down the roads she has traveled in the hope she can “exorcise” the “what ifs” that rob her of her peace of mind.

 Her life has been a winding and twisting path of triumph and despair. She has been:  married, divorced, widowed, a step parent, financially broke, a single parent to four children, a full time caregiver to a terminally ill husband, a victim of spousal abuse, a parent to two adolescents addicted to alcohol and drugs and a seeker of spirituality.  She relives the seminal events of her life searching for some insights, observations and/or “wisdom” she can glean from those experiences.  Ultimately she is searching for peace and a good road map for the remainder of her journey.   She humbly offers her experiences, insights and perhaps wisdom to the reader in hopes she can develop a road map for her own journey and find peace and happiness in her own life.

Taking a respite from blogging. Would welcome your "stories".

The Silent Killers

 There has been enough “buzz” in our media saturated world that we easily recognize our enemies.  Oh I ‘m not referring to the wars we are still involved in.  I am referring to enemies of our self esteem and specifically our internal enemies – the ones we create for ourselves.  We are armed against the most common internal predators like statements such as “You are not a good wife, mother, employee, spouse, daughter because a good mother doesn’t say that to her child or a good employee does not arrive late for work.  We often say these things to ourselves when our behavior doesn’t match our image of what we should be doing or how we should be acting in that role. We recognize that perfection is unattainable and we are on guard when we expect it of ourselves.  We can forgive ourselves for not attaining the unattainable. At least I hope we can.

But what about the silent killers of self- esteem?  They are not so easily recognized because they do not convey explicit messages of failure. They creep up on us and hide in our psyche.  They can envelope us so quickly.

I was relaxing, reading the newspaper the other morning.  I couldn’t quite seem to enjoy reading it.  I kept interrupting myself with comments like, “you have work to do”, “the dishwasher needs to be unloaded”, and “you have many phone calls to make today”.  Eventually I gave in to the voice telling me I should be doing something other than what I was doing and put down the newspaper. Really what’s wrong with taking 15 or 30 minutes to read the newspaper early in the morning while you drink your morning coffee?  Intellectually there is nothing wrong with it but subconsciously there are many things wrong with it.  You are not doing what you are supposed to be doing which is typically something “productive” like work – housework or other work.  You are lazy.  You shouldn’t enjoy yourself until all your “work” is done.  Is it really ever done?

So let’s guard against the silent killers of self-esteem – the malaise or cloud hanging over us telling us that we are a “bad” person because we are taking some time out of the day to do" nothing" or to do something that isn’t defined as “productive” or to do something that benefits no one but ourselves.  It is hard to recognize, I think, because this attitude is so ingrained in us.

Q:  What negative messages are you sending yourself daily?  Recognizing them, I believe, is the first step toward prevention.